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Thursday, Aug. 04, 2005 @ 9:32 pm

The highlight of my week was getting a kiss on the cheek from The Boy From Downstairs at the train station as we parted heading for our different directions.

It went downhill from there.

Work sucks that's the end of that. I can't wait for school. I always say that I wish I were as unaware of my surroundings as a brick wall. If I didn't know things I wouldn't care and I wouldn't worry. But I digress. TBFD is all I think about. All day. And it's sad. If I don't see him again soon I really will go downstairs and ring every door bell until I find which one is his and declare how infatuated with him I am.

In other news..I lost 3 pounds! By doing absolutely nothing but living on Smart Ones and Lean Cuisines for the past couple of months. I don't believe my scale I swear. I think it's lying to me. Or my eyes must be visualizing my fantasy. I weighed myself about 10 times tonight on several different spots on the floor standing in several different positions on the scale, clothes on and clothes off. Still says I'm three pounds lighter. Ok, I'll believe it. Cuz if it isn't real, that'll kill my week.

I've actually been feeling...lighter these days. Emotion-wise. I try to eat better I listen to more music to soothe me and talk more to people. A year ago I was visualising the looks on friend's/family's faces once they learned I had stopped myself from ever having to breathe again. But so far I've been better. My life is liveable (if that's not a word it is now so shutup hehe).

I miss that boy. I hate my obsessions.