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Sunday, Oct. 02, 2005 @ 2:12 pm

O sweet, lonely neglected diary of mine! How I've missed you!
Well school has been going on for a month, and I'm still struggling with my desire to make something of myself and not waste my mother's money and my own time, and the strong inkling I'm getting that maybe I just don't belong in college. I'm not feeling very ambitious anymore and as I said before, I don't know what I want to do with myself and the anxiety of that uncertainty is killing me. So schooldays have been rough...

I used to say that the one thing I really liked about my job was all of the people I worked with. How stupid stupid stupid I was for thinking that, because basically all of those people quit the job and I never see them. Which makes me hate the office everyday, though I'm not ready to leave yet. This is another lesson that I should stop with the belief that everything I do like about life is stable.

Damn my life is pathetic. But at least I have loving supportive friends around me...food, the tv, the computer, my Ipod, my wonderfully mind-altering sleeping pills, my cat, this journal.